“Everybody lies” that
is what of the popular character on television, Dr. House says. I agree, honesty
is a rare entity these days. Friends lie that they won’t tell the secret you
told them, while they blurt it out half drunk or in their full senses. Anyhow, a well kept secret is something only you know. No point blaming your frineds. Family lies that
everything is going to be fine when you fail, which you know is not going to be
the same as you expected. Lover lies that you are the best thing that happened
in life, only till he sees you in your worst shape. A good person will try to
stick around and a wise one may not put up with the bullshit which you splash
around while deep down in crap. Employer lies that they will give you a rise
for completing an important project within a deadline, which is the only lie
most of you might have guessed it right. Come on now, they are spending their money on you. You know how people are cautious when it involves the green bills.
Nobody would give you a raise unless you threaten to resign or they badly need you or you are going to be the next Steve Jobs. Anything replaceable for
same cost can be replaced. Remember.
It is very important to know if someone is lying or not. In simple
terms, lie is defined as “an intentionally false statement”. So, you see lie
cannot just happen. It has to be ‘made up’. It definitely is active process.
Quite some physiological and mental work is needed (that’s how lie detectors
work, these machines capture these sudden burst in energy when someone lies) to
lie unless you are habituated liar or mastered the art of lying. The lie detector, built by qualified scientists, by itself is not accurate. So, I don't deem myself to be an expert at detecting lies. I vouch that I suck at it badly. So, we leave this subject alone and let the God, if any, be the judge.
Before you start analyzing if someone is lying or not, you
need to decide if the subject is worth your time and energy. Did
the person lie for a missed dinner, party or belated birthday wishes? Just let
it go unless that is your boyfriend. Just kidding. Be kind, these things happen with
busy pace of life or whatever. You will be least affected, apart from moments or
hours of bad feeling, may be. Did the person lie to you about something that
can cost you your job, money, or a relationship?
Clear your mind and assess carefully. You don’t want to listen to many
people. Listen to those you trust and be your own judge. Be very much sure
before accusing anyone of lying. Get it sorted appropriately and respectfully. Try not to make it ugly. You know
whom you don’t have to trust next time and just move one. Don't dwell in it.
Not everyone who lies is a bad person. Not every lie is bad.
Neither is every honest statement a good one. Imagine someone telling you on your face
that you do not deserve this job interview given your credentials. Well, that
may be right or it may not be. But, those words may make you feel hopeless and you end up
not trying further to get the call, thinking you don't deserve it. What you don't know is that there are other things that matter - such as contacts, a call from your previous boss or a well written email inquiring
about your status- that can help you get that interview. Even if, what was told is true, but it is only half truth. The omitted half is another part of truth
without which the statement may not qualify to be true. So, in such a
situation you may end up hating the person who told so, or go into phase of
hopelessness, or self loathing, which are all absolutely exhausting and
worthless. Don't do this to yourself. Step back and think.
Finally, my two cents: no matter what others say – a lie, a
truth, or an honest advice- don’t take it straight to your head. Have a
filter i.e. your conscience. Listen to yourself and believe in your judgment of
what is right or good for you. Say to yourself what you want to hear from others for you to be a better person. That is
your mantra. This mantra will lead you. Keep it positive and keep chanting.You will reach where you believe
you want to be in the future.
